First Love.
POSTED ON: 20 April 2011 @ 10:05 PM | 2 comments
I thought of being in love was simple.
It requires only the affection of two people liking each other.
That simple.
But it wasn't.
It wasn't that simple.
Not easy.
Full of weather.
Full of first-time feelings.
Full of jealousy.
Full of tears.
Full of quick heartbeats.
Flashing back.
It was that smile.
That heartaches.
That eyes.
That voice.
Soon.
It became a part of my life.
A chapter of my story.
That very first love.
Labels: random
Deeply in Love with U
POSTED ON: 18 April 2011 @ 2:43 AM | 3 comments
''In my life You've heard me say
I love you
How do I show you it`s true
hear my heart, it longs for more of you..
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you..
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You and I, together forever
Nothing can, stand in the way
My love for you, grows stronger
each new day.
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you
You have stolen my heart
I`m captivated by you
Never will you and I part
I`ve fallen deeply in love with you''
This is indeed a song so worth listening.Tell God how much you loves him.How much you wanna live for him.It touches the very deep soul of me.Easter's Day is around the corner.I remember vividly how I was showered with abundant love 6 years ago.How for the first time in my life,I know that someone outside there cared for me.How I was released from the burden of my struggles being the only one and had no place to go to.
It wasn't easy road to take.Having the difficulties makes me a stronger person to face what I know will be essential in my life,to understand what the others undergo.Because I was in their position before,therefore God can use me to tell things are fine through Him.I did not understand previously but as I grow up,I understand that every step that I took,He was there for me,never to forsake me.That verse gave me strengths.
''I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5''
Jesus Christ,my God..my heavenly daddy is not a religion but it's a relationship.I can't explain it in words how I trusted just like that without reasonings.But I just trust and have faith in Him.To the non-Christian,it's difficult to understand but I was there before.I was a Buddhist.
The thing with relationship is just like an old man hoping his run-away son to come back to him even though his son had hurt him a lot.That old man would just wait for his son outside of the house everyday,hoping one day,one fine day...his son would come back like a boy and hug him.My God is like that.He waited for me.I don't have to give anything to HIM.He already GIVEN me.All he wanted to do is to LOVE me and used me to show His LOVE to people.That's relationship.
''I am captivated by His love''
I am happy that I am loved even though I had no earthly father but I know Heavenly Father is there to guide me,mold me and tell me,''there is always a way when there is no way'',''don't give up.daughter for I am holding unto you.''
Dear:Heavenly Father,
Lord,I just amazed that I am this person today that sitting here praying to you,Lord.I am really blessed by your love ,guides and all the blessings that you gave me and are giving me.I just want for to be in deeper relationship.The future road may seems difficult to walk,perhaps but in You,I can walk,falling but still get up because You would carry me through the winds and storms.Lord,I just wanna say ''thank you'' for even choosing me.Recalling how you just showered me love 6years ago,I am just speechless.Thank you for just loving me.You are beautiful,Lord.I just wanna speechlessly express my gratitude unto you.Thank you,daddy.In Jesus Most Precious Name:Amen.
Psalm 139:1-5
"Lord, You have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I stand up; You understand my thoughts from far away.
You observe my travels and my rest; You are aware of all my way.
Before a word is on my tongue, You know all about it, Lord.
You have encircled me; You have placed Your hand on me."
Labels: love
A bottle of sadness
POSTED ON: 13 April 2011 @ 9:37 PM | 1 comments
I was looking for seats to eat with my friends,Fam and Catherine.In a corner,an auntie waved at me telling us that we can sit with her if we do not mind.We sat.
While waiting for food,we talked.My friend,Fam asked questions.Soon,i found out she is 68 years old,working as a dishwasher in shop that sells noodles.She stays in a rented room.She has four children.He husband passed away.She did not stay with her children.
I was sad.I was like,'Where are her children?', 'How could they left her all alone in this island?' and 'Unfilial children!'.Yes,I was judging but I was just..I just couldn't understand.
But I want to do something.I don't wanna stop by just listening.I really can sensed God asking me to do something.
*pheeeewww...I really thought of crying there* as she reminded me lots of my mom.How an uneducated elders continue to be positive with their life even it is not pleasing.How they have that courage to just continue living, putting smiles and portraying kindness to people even when life fails them?
Phil. 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”
P.S:My biggest joy besides knowing personal God is for my mom to be a Christian.
AND YES!!I CAN DO IT!!!!*hit my head and say..I HAVE FAITH IN GOD*..!!!!ACTION!!ACTION!!!
Labels: old age
''Kite-runner''
POSTED ON: 11 April 2011 @ 1:17 AM | 0 comments
''Kite-runner''I thought that this movie was all about flying a kite.But it wasn't.
The setting of this movie was in Afghanistan.I never know that Afghanistan was actually a peaceful place with joy and smiles on people's face.How war could destroy a country or a place in a very short time.I think it's true when it takes years to built a country but few minutes to destroy one.It is not only about destroying country but think about humanity and the victims.
I was rather surprised actually by the whole plot of the movie.It really highlighted the distinguishment between right and wrong.I think guilt really carries itself for the rest on your life.GUILT.In this movie,the lead character(Amir) did a mistake and it carried throughout his life before he saved the man he owed an apology on,Hassan's son.
*But in Christ alone,I know my guilt are over.I had this guilt that were carrying over my shoulder but it was lifted up by HIM.*
This movie opened my eyes on the loyalty on a friend.Hassan was really a good friend.He actually smashed the tomato on his face when Amir asked him to attack him and threw tomatoes on Him.Hassan did not demand anything and he admitted it was his fault even though it wasn't.Why?Because Hassan loves Amir unconditionally.It was so sad.I wept like crazy.
*God gave his life to me and always listen to my complains,brag and forgives me every-time I did something wrong.He never blame me instead he just forgive me and still loves me unconditionally.
I was actually taken aback by the children that have to live in Afghanistan.How they have to live in that cruel environment.They can't study,they don't even have enough nutritions to grow.The time they actually enjoyed was short but it was meaningful for them.
I actually think that this is a good movie.It taught me humanity.It motivated me even more to help the people who couldn't help themselves.I am really living in the world of privileges and all I do,is complain about unnecessary things while other part of this world,they are selling their legs to provide for their family,to hide themselves from being killed,to sneak at night to escape from a country.I felt extremely blessed by God for being in this country,to worship Him every Sunday,to eat what I want,to read Bible freely,to talk about HIM & to study.
I am blessed.Truly.It really motivate me to go around the globe and just helped people who are unfortunate.I can do big things.In God,I know I can do big things.Secondly,I am blessed with my family,friends and even to sleep PEACEFULLY.I am truly blessed.
In the end I would like to conclude this song by Glee.
Imagine Glee from Daniel Reigada on Vimeo.
* Imagine all the people living life in peace,
Imagine there is no war....
Imagine there is nothing to kill
Imagine...
You can say I am dreamer...
But I am not the only one....
But God is always in control.But i just wanna emphasize that there are more unfortunate people outside trying to survive each day with hardship.Some of us do not appreciate lives,do not appreciate things around us or even people around us.It is true that when we live in a world of privileges,we are fragile.It is true that when you are weak,you are strong.I just want to remind you that no matter where you are ,God is watching over you.You don't have to imagine.Do something.We are not dreamer.We are born to do things,to live His will.We are the chosen one.=))Do something today.Little things but it will cause greater things.=))
“'He who is faithful in little, will also be faithful in much! And He that is not faithful in little will not be faithful in much” (Luke 16:10).
Labels: motivation
Thursday,Friday and Saturday.
POSTED ON: 10 April 2011 @ 2:20 PM | 0 comments
I have to say I am very happy with these days.I had annual FIRST YEAR Sollat dinner with my course-mates on Thursday,Farewell night with PKA on Friday and a random Saturday with Miyeko,Chong and Fish.It was a blast.I wanna praise the Lord for his wondrous work in my life.For his amazing plans that revealed with love for me.
''I don't know what to utter now but just sit here in awe for awesome works.''
Matt,Nad and me....
Farewell night was awesome .It taught me the deep meaning of friendship.It is great to be in PKA family.They always shower me with love and appreciation.They always tell it's okay to make mistakes.PKA changed me.I want everyone to join this family too.Being in PKA taught unselfishness and LOVE.I wanna enjoy my uni life to the max and when I looked back,I know it was God's plan for me to be in USM,to do his works and to have good.lasting friends.I was kinda sad when I position myself in the third year,standing in front and giving speeches.But I know it is a chapter everyone has to undergo.I will miss those seniors that gave me their advices and I really really appreciate them-Abel,Justin,Michael&Wilson.Thank you for spending late nights without sleep and shower me with Love through HIM.I wanna appreciate everything that I am having now.
Tien,Me,Joan
*family portrait*
*Friends Forever*...MUAH!!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!i dont know what to say.
Saturday was awesome as well.I was able to enjoy sunset at Balik Pulau and enjoyed Thai's food.I was like ''IS THIS REAL?' for everything was a impromptu and random plan.But,God's marvelous touch of work on the nature is beautiful.No one can create things like Him.It was perfect.I love the sunset.I love the company as well.I really enjoy Miyeko's companion.She is a great friend and I am glad we are still as close as the first time we met in orientation week.Not many people is still in touch with people they met during the first week of university.But once a friend,forever is a friend.^^We watched ''Source Code'' too and I learnt,'Everything will be alright.''.Serious.Everything will be alright!!^^
*I am so cute in the middle*LOL
Miyeko&me..!!!*peace*
*There you go:WHEN MIYEKO+FW!!!*
*love this pic*
God answered my prayers.He just showed me in my daily devotion.Prayers work amazingly.I,myself was surprised but life is full of surprises.Life is too short.I choose the narrow road.A road that no many wanna walk but a road with Him holding.Because His grace is already sufficient for me.His love is already enough for me.
Romans 5:8
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
The road I am taking
The road I am taking,
is not an easy road,
neither it promises goodness.
The road I am taking,
is not a promising road,
neither it can promises happiness.
The road I am taking,
is a stormy,narrow road,
and a road with uncertainties.
The road I am taking,
is a HIS well-planned road,
and a road with HIM holding.
The road I am taking,
is in HIS will,
because it's a road HE knows best.
This road I am choosing,
is not an easy road,
I may fall and stumble,
But HE will carry me,
with HIS HAND holding unto mine.
-An old gray cloth-
POSTED ON: 06 April 2011 @ 5:11 PM | 0 comments
A dull gray piece of fabric would sit quietly on the shelf each day,desperately longing for someone to notice him.From his place on the on the dusty shelf.he had a bird's eye view of all BEAUTIFUL fabrics that held so much more potential.He admired the fabrics of vibrant orange and pink polka dots that one day would be transformer into frilly toddler dresses;an elegant stripes that would make dine draperies for beautiful homes.
But he,himself is just A DULL,BORING,OLD piece of gray fabric.Nothing special.Nothing elegant.Nothing valuable.Certainly nothing worthy of being transformed into anything new and wonderful.
One day,an elderly woman wandered into the store.The gray piece of fabric could tell she was a seamstress by the wrinkled measure around her neck and the rusty thimble on her finger.
As she wandered around,she seemed to be finding for something special.Suddenly she saw something.
The gray piece of cloth dared to think that maybe,just maybe,she would see potential in him.
As woman drew closer,his heart began to race.She gently picked him up and headed towards cash register.When she got home,she diligently set about her task.Gradually she transformed the piece of old gray fabric into an adorable new sock ,to be loved and cherished by her grandchildren.He MADE A DIFFERENCE in the hearts of children.
Although he felt worthless sometimes,she looked beyond what he was, beyond his old life as a scrap of fabric.She saw him as something new,and helped him to discover his value and hidden potential.He felt like a scrap of left-over material,no one see anything about him but the woman see something in him-potential that no one sees.
I am feeling that way and I prayed to Lord telling and pouring my heart.But HE always see values and hidden potential in me.He wants me to see it too.I learnt to trust him with all my heart because he had greater plans for me.
Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (NIV)
''Here at Your feet, I lay my past down
My wanderings, all my mistakes down
And I am free
Here at Your feet, I lay this day down
Not in my strength, but in Yours I’ve found
All I need, You’re all I need
Here at Your feet, I lay my future down
All of my dreams, I give to You now
And I find peace, I find peace
All of my dreams, I give to You now
And I find peace, I find peace
Here at Your feet, I lay my life down
For You my King, You
For You my King, You
’re all I want now
And my soul sings…''
And my soul sings…''
*What is friendship?*
POSTED ON: 05 April 2011 @ 12:19 AM | 0 comments
In USM,I have many friends but how many close friends I have?I do not know about this.I used to have Audrey and Stephanie that I considered to be my close friends,sort of best friends-kinda-friendship.But this semester it changed.The relationship changed.Our relationship changed.*It is the fact*.
I never have problem blending with people and I can get to people easily.I was in a clique of friends for many years.Well,since I was standard five.In form 6,I formed unbreakable good friendship mainly CuiYing,Swee Eng and Jessica Heng.Things were easy then.It was always Us,Us and Us.We would studied and had some crazy activities together.Awwww*.Besides having another really good relationship with Ah Soh(he is in UMS) till now,I don't think I am actually in contact with anyone back in form 6.
I have this childhood best-friend,Su Chen.She is my bestie and my family knows she is my best friend.She is the only in the world that know everything about me.She was the one that witnessed the change in me from being a Buddhist to a Christian.We became best friend after Form 5.Su Chen had been a great friend in my life.No one could understand me like her.It is not easy to understand me for people out there because I am really good at hiding my feelings.I will never let go of her for she have been really great for me.
Those friends were the friends that really dear to me before I came into USM.
I changed.
I wasn't the person who is in a clique anymore.I go around and have meals with different people everyday.Everyone is my friend.I have close friends in certain group.I still have Audrey spending a lot of time with me-church,course and PKA.But I am really wondering today,'Who would be there for me?Like who is my close friend?'.It seriously made me think a lot.Well,I can talk to so many people but do they care for me as I care for them?Do they even realise?
But seriously,should I doubt the closeness we are in?Am I demanding?
Dear:Heavenly Father,
I am sorry,Lord for having those thoughts in me.It is just me being human and wanted to be assure in everything I do.I am really weak but I will be strong,I know.Lord,please help me to understand everything that I am enduring even though if I don't feel that I am actually treated the way I want to.Sometimes,I think I care too much.Sometimes,I dont feel it was worth it to put my time and thoughts to bond with people around me.But God,you love me and still loving,Lord even though I don't treat you the way you treated me.I just want to love like you even though I fail sometimes because it was conditionally.Yes,Lord,I am being selfish and demanding.You love me.I have you.And I am crying to you Lord for letting me to have the heart like YOURS,to love people the way you love.Thank you,Lord for listening and loving me.=)))..In Jesus Name,Amen.
John 15:13 (KJV): Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:15 -I do not call you servants any longer, for the servant does not know what his master is doing . But I have called you My friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from My Father. I have revealed to you everything that I have learned from Him.
*Hmmmmm*
POSTED ON: 04 April 2011 @ 9:09 AM | 0 comments
I think I began to like to explore things that I wasn't interested before such as the area of photography.I think liking photography just highlighted the way I see things.I see more beautiful things that ever.You know it is really amazing how ''something-not-really-beautiful'' was expressed beautiful in certain pictures.It also teaches me to pay attention to little things that were beautiful.It is amazing.I guessed I would have to express my gratitude to Wengjen for his awesome photography skills.
God created this world so beautifully with sunsets and sunrises with beautiful rainbows.But human was so caught up in their own life without even noticing it.It is the same when come to GOD.GOD is so beautiful and GOOD.HE is so good.But human
was so caught up with THEMSELVES that they are blinded by materials,possessions;in other word,'What the world wants,and not what they want(or GOD wa
nts).I,myself was caught with my hectic schedule in Uni.But I take time to see the beautiful around me.The sunsets and sunrise.I love to talk to people.It is just me.I think human are so beautiful,you know.Everyone is so special that I wanna just tell them,' You are beautiful'.Everyone taught me things that deepen the way I perceived things.But most of all,God lavishes HIS love so much on me that I learnt like super-duper-awesome-crazee.
Yesterday,one of my PKA-ians just asked me about 'to be or not to be' in EPCC.She is the same denomination background with me.Currently,having the same problem i used to face.Well,she came and find me.It is not easy for someone to ask something
about their real personal life-God.So i am really grateful.I told her that God is her personal GOD.God do very different things in our life.Do not care what others think,what other people practices,HOLD on to GOD for He gave us HIS words,seek for the truth in HIS words.Everyone have their own perspective towards how they perceived the words of GOD because everyone's personal encounters with God are different.
So how do we distinguish right and wrong of someone's teaching?That is when HE,our God play HIS lovely roles.
''Psalm 62:7-My salvation and my honour comes from God alone;he is my mighty rock,my refuge.''
Therefore pray to God.He will be your provider,your answer.Believe in Him.God wants us to depend on Him with faith.
''That is why we live by believing and not by seeing (2 Corinthians 5:7 NLT).''
Attributes:
Photo 1,2,3-WengJen
Photo 4:Flickr.com
Labels: beautiful, faith, photography
Something that I did!!
POSTED ON: @ 2:20 AM | 0 comments
I wanna praise Lord for HIS love on me.His beautiful plans for me.His marvellous works on me in USM.I was enjoying to the fullest in USM.Besides,joining PKA for fellowships and learning to be a mature Christian,I join Jazz Band and learn bass as well.I learnt a lot in EPCC too.(^^).In fact,I just came back from Women Conference.Will update next time about the lessons I learnt.
I was not really active in updating my blog.Thus,there were some events I missed out by posting it.But I wanna just state it here in this post.Justin Yong,my CGL was updating his Facebook pictures.So,I would like to take this opportunity to just share the things I do in my university.
This year is my second semester in my first year.Sadly,it's approaching the end of the semester.My second semester started with Jazz Band Annual Concert.
Jazz Band Annual Concert
It was awesome.I can play several songs.I was so pleased despite having difficulties adapting the playing skills.This music camp(for the Annual Concert) drew me close to certain people such as CY, Miyeko (my roomie),Hing Yee,Wengje
n and Jonathan.I can brag on and on but I have other events to cover up..^^
Jazz Band Annual Members
When we started to rebel and do what we wanna do!!!
When everyone was crazy as me!!haha
HAHAHAHA!!I have no comments on this except my BIG mouth.
We were surrounding the drummer.
Rolling of the drums!!
Next it was the Pantai Kerachut Trip,organised by Samwise.It was fun hanging with Christina,Siva and my good-friends in USM,Audrey and Steph.Praise the Lord for those good seniors and friends that guided me through my Uni's life.We slept the beach and it was freezing cold.*ME no like it*....But it was fun.It taught me a lot.Many things changed after this but I believe God is in control.
This is Pantai Kerachut.SUPER MAGNIFICENT PRETTY!!
Audrey,ME and Steph..
*slept on the beach*
Rose and Perak
There was Farewell Night that we are going to celebrate this Friday for our graduating seniors.So,we sold roses on Valentine's Day.It was just that we had to keep those roses in cool,low temperature and we spent a night with those roses..It was so fun with Audrey,Steph and Wai Quan.Perak Trip was a kinda random trip with SHE (a course) with my members-MengHong, Amalina and Ikin.It was fantastic as well because we were not lost and enrich ourselves with some places which I do not know till now.
*yawn*
*I love my teeth*
*one of the museums we visited*
*US*
*amalina,me and menghong*
One of the highlights this semester was the Annual Dinner for Jazz Band.I was the emcee and it was interesting to just do my job by using my talents(laughing out loud).Everything was kinda funny the whole night.I wanna praise the Lord for giving me an opportunity to be an emcee.We tool lots of pictures here.It was really nice for me,the first-timer.Great thing was I can do what I wanna wear.*casual-style*
*Jonathan,one of the closest good friend in Uni*
*There u go...*
Tenor Trombonist!!
I am so lazy to write every captions down..*HAHA*...It is okay.I will give you benefits of doubt.
Yeah,I think I get lazier to write now.I just wanna conclude this event as the last event-Engineering Campus Convocation.Jazz Band performed in USM Engineering Campus.Yeah,it was interesting.I guess God taught me one or two lessons here.I saw blessings which I found awesome.I got to know more about people in Jazz Band and I praised Lord for it.It was here that I learnt more about friendship.I guess God just work in a way that you can't tell it at once but at times goes by,you will know why He allow that to happen.But overall,I love this time a lot.I was playing games till 4am with Carmen and Jonathan.Before that,we were playing some games too.It was crazy.But I love every minute of it.
When Hing Yee got together with me,things just got weird..
*I am so cute*
LOL
I will miss her when she is gone!
*This was taken inside our apartment*
*poser*
*when I get bored*...
I do not what the future will hold for me.But I see myself staying a little bit longer in Jazz Band.I see my need to stay there.I see my need to love people there like how God loves me.I love people there.I know it will going to be difficult but I shall not worry.
Roman 8:28- And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
As much as I receive in PKA, I shall give in Jazz Band.That's how I see it and that is how God wants me to see it.I can't choose either one.It's not because I am greedy but I am purposeful in PKA and Jazz Band.It is really different.It's not about level of commitment.It is really about how I seized opportunity to glorify Him.
Luke 18:27: "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
Thank you,Lord for all those things,teachings and guidances to make the Fong Wan,your daughter who she is today.Thank you,Lord.In Jesus Name,Amen!
