I am Home.

POSTED ON: 28 July 2013 @ 7:39 PM | 1 comments

It had been a week since I came back from Cameron Camp. When people asked me whether I have this post-cameron-camp-syndrome, I told them, 'Yeahhh..but I am also having more of this post-graduation-from-USM-syndrome'. Honestly, I miss everything about PENANG, USM and everyone who is going to be there in September. Sometimes , I wish September would come a little bit faster so that I can see familiar faces again. Because of that, I did not feel that I am home.

I know the ministry at home is not going to be easy. But I love what Mother Teresa said that 'We can do no great things only small things with great love.' It reminded me on how little things that were done out of love that really matter to God than doing big great things out of own desires. Maybe just washing plates, sweeping floor, listening to sister, listening to brother, accompanying my mother to watch television...just being there to help as much as I can... in little things,out of love that matters.

It was hard at first when I came back especially the first few days in Melaka. I wanted to run, to go to somewhere where I can do what I want, to have the freedom to be who I want to be..but I know deep inside of me, I was being very selfish just by thinking of that. How can I leave my family behind and not be there for them after what I've learnt of Him in the past three years? How can I know God by myself and not share Him and demonstrate Him with my loves one?

My family needs love, not the normal love...but my Father's perfect love. And I know...I know now God is here with me..in this family of mine. Yes, right now, this house! God loves this family too. And I know it is not going to be easy. But I am not giving up. I am not giving up serving this family because I know God is not giving up as well. 

So finally after some days of re-adapting here, I just want to say..'I am home.' And I am glad I am home.I know this journey can be a little bit shaky ahead, but I will stand firm with Christ as the foundation. Because God so loved my mother, brother and sister too that He ALSO gave up His only begotten son to die for them. With that, I will try my best but also reminded to let God to do the rest. So yeah... I am home, people!

Labels: blessed, family, Father's love, firm, God, home, thoughts

Give me Life in Thy Ways.

POSTED ON: 23 July 2013 @ 3:09 PM | 1 comments

I am back from Cameron Camp 2013. Couldn't believe that I endured three weeks of cold weather. It was really really really a good experience to deal with obstacles in life. I came in to Cameron Camp , wanted to be equipped with God's Word. But well, I guess Daddy got another plan for me. He wanted to me to be ME!

Weird huh? I guess when I accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour..I forgot that He wanted to love me for who I am. Never did I know that all He want is to ACCEPT ME for who I really am. All I look forward is to please Him with the best that I can and neglecting my weaknesses and do not embrace the fact that I am FONG WAN, the one who also know life hurts.

Because of the obstacles of life which made me stronger but it also resulted me to ignore things that allow me to appear 'weak' to others. Because of that, I never wanted to share during my first week in camp. But I learnt to share to the Lord whom love me for who I am even though it was really difficult. Because I know deep inside of me, it was worth it.

After attending camp, indeed one of the crucial answers were answered. I remembered asking God, 'I am willing to give up everything for you, even to go to the end of earth for you...why are you not sending me?' But now I know it is because I never know how to be a daughter to serve Him, but rather a servant that want to serve Him with all my strengths forgetting to embrace my weaknesses too.

And that was the most important thing I have learnt in Cameron Camp. I know in me, I am not strong enough to endure this life with so many obstacles that going to tear me down, but I am going to stand firm in  my Daddy who is going to cry, walk , smile, sit and comfort me whenever I know I cannot do it.

Funny how God always have another way to awaken you from your mistakes. But well, He is after-all the Creator and knew me while I was in mommy's womb...Thank you, Dad! Thank you for wanting to love me and showing me grace despite knowing I will fail you. :'))))))

Labels: blessed, cameron, camp, Daddy, God, personal

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I am Home.

POSTED ON: 28 July 2013 @ 7:39 PM | 1 comments

It had been a week since I came back from Cameron Camp. When people asked me whether I have this post-cameron-camp-syndrome, I told them, 'Yeahhh..but I am also having more of this post-graduation-from-USM-syndrome'. Honestly, I miss everything about PENANG, USM and everyone who is going to be there in September. Sometimes , I wish September would come a little bit faster so that I can see familiar faces again. Because of that, I did not feel that I am home.

I know the ministry at home is not going to be easy. But I love what Mother Teresa said that 'We can do no great things only small things with great love.' It reminded me on how little things that were done out of love that really matter to God than doing big great things out of own desires. Maybe just washing plates, sweeping floor, listening to sister, listening to brother, accompanying my mother to watch television...just being there to help as much as I can... in little things,out of love that matters.

It was hard at first when I came back especially the first few days in Melaka. I wanted to run, to go to somewhere where I can do what I want, to have the freedom to be who I want to be..but I know deep inside of me, I was being very selfish just by thinking of that. How can I leave my family behind and not be there for them after what I've learnt of Him in the past three years? How can I know God by myself and not share Him and demonstrate Him with my loves one?

My family needs love, not the normal love...but my Father's perfect love. And I know...I know now God is here with me..in this family of mine. Yes, right now, this house! God loves this family too. And I know it is not going to be easy. But I am not giving up. I am not giving up serving this family because I know God is not giving up as well. 

So finally after some days of re-adapting here, I just want to say..'I am home.' And I am glad I am home.I know this journey can be a little bit shaky ahead, but I will stand firm with Christ as the foundation. Because God so loved my mother, brother and sister too that He ALSO gave up His only begotten son to die for them. With that, I will try my best but also reminded to let God to do the rest. So yeah... I am home, people!

Labels: blessed, family, Father's love, firm, God, home, thoughts

Give me Life in Thy Ways.

POSTED ON: 23 July 2013 @ 3:09 PM | 1 comments

I am back from Cameron Camp 2013. Couldn't believe that I endured three weeks of cold weather. It was really really really a good experience to deal with obstacles in life. I came in to Cameron Camp , wanted to be equipped with God's Word. But well, I guess Daddy got another plan for me. He wanted to me to be ME!

Weird huh? I guess when I accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour..I forgot that He wanted to love me for who I am. Never did I know that all He want is to ACCEPT ME for who I really am. All I look forward is to please Him with the best that I can and neglecting my weaknesses and do not embrace the fact that I am FONG WAN, the one who also know life hurts.

Because of the obstacles of life which made me stronger but it also resulted me to ignore things that allow me to appear 'weak' to others. Because of that, I never wanted to share during my first week in camp. But I learnt to share to the Lord whom love me for who I am even though it was really difficult. Because I know deep inside of me, it was worth it.

After attending camp, indeed one of the crucial answers were answered. I remembered asking God, 'I am willing to give up everything for you, even to go to the end of earth for you...why are you not sending me?' But now I know it is because I never know how to be a daughter to serve Him, but rather a servant that want to serve Him with all my strengths forgetting to embrace my weaknesses too.

And that was the most important thing I have learnt in Cameron Camp. I know in me, I am not strong enough to endure this life with so many obstacles that going to tear me down, but I am going to stand firm in  my Daddy who is going to cry, walk , smile, sit and comfort me whenever I know I cannot do it.

Funny how God always have another way to awaken you from your mistakes. But well, He is after-all the Creator and knew me while I was in mommy's womb...Thank you, Dad! Thank you for wanting to love me and showing me grace despite knowing I will fail you. :'))))))

Labels: blessed, cameron, camp, Daddy, God, personal

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