A ROAD WITH HIM HOLDING

''By a roadside in the wilderness,He'll lead me and rivers in the desert will I see...''

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Planned-out Plans!

POSTED ON: 04 April 2014 @ 11:30 AM | 0 comments

Been planning out life, but nothing goes according to what I planned. I guess I am frustrated and disappointed. Not once but a few. But but but, I learnt lessons through this season.

 1) I always want to be god of my life.
I love planning and want things my ways. Rather than just submitting it to God, I choose to plan my life and how I should live, forgetting this life is supposed to be a worship unto the Lord. Well, I am kinda like making my life a worship for myself. So much of self-fulfillment , isn't it? Totally forgotten, that I was already dead but made alive in Christ, supposingly my new life is a platform/tool/ agent/ ambassador ( u name it) of Christ.

 2. Don't always ask God for a YES as answer rather asking God for His will. 
One thing about the selfish me is that I always want God to answer my prayers. Like 'I wanna do this', 'Give me this', 'Grant me this' and 'Help me with this' rather than, 'O'Lord, answer my prayer according to Your will, that no matter answers You give, I will accept it knowing You are a sovereign God.' I also realised I always prepare myself for the good result but not the bad result. So I have learnt I need to always prepare for a NO answer knowing that my God is GOOD.

 3. My God really really really sees things in bigger picture. (like way bigger and awesomer) 
I see my future with my eyes and want it the way I think it is good. But I believe that God have better and way awesome plans for me if only I am willing to submit in His ways. Like seriously. I just have to trust that He is going to use me greatly, no matter how blurry is the road in front of me. I just gotta trust in my Dad. 'Give me life in Thy ways' ... I learned that in camp and I am so going to practice it. :)

 Last but not least, I was watching this movie 'The Tree of Life' and there was this quote in the movie which left quite an impact on me.

 The nuns taught us there are two ways through life … the way of Nature… and the way of Grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow. Grace doesn't try to please itself. Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself. Get others to please it too. Likes to lord it over them. To have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy... when all the world is shining around it... when love is smiling through all things.

(2 Corinthians 5 :14-15)  For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.


Labels: adventure, blessed, Jesus, journey, life, personal


When Life is Not the Way It Seems to Be.

POSTED ON: 26 January 2014 @ 3:30 PM | 0 comments

Because life is not the way I wanted,
Because I am lost,
Because I feel like a loser,
I went away.

I went away,
Finding my own strength,
Seeking my own directions,
Trusting in my own choices.

Trusting myself,
Trusting everything else,
Except the One who created me,
The One who loved and is still loving me.

The One who whispered,
'Come to me',
'Come, don't harden your heart.'
'Come to me, my precious.'

'Come!'
But, time and time again,
I trusted myself,
I went away,
Because life is not the way I wanted.


And I stopped. 		Because life is not the way I wanted,
Because I am lost,
Because I feel like a loser,
I come again.

I come again,
Finding Your strength,
Seeking Your will,
Trusting in You.

Trusting in You,
And not everything else,
Only You, the One who created me,
The One who loved and is still loving me.

The One who never stop loving,
Waiting, correcting
Molding, rebuking,
I am indeed Your precious.

Because I am Your Precious,
This time, 
Trusting in You,
I come again
Because I would never even found a LIFE without You.

And I come.



Labels: family, God, journey, life, personal, tough


Self-Discovery

POSTED ON: 07 January 2014 @ 12:46 AM | 0 comments

Coming back to this place, I've learnt even more about myself, family and really really about myself. I guess the most tragic thing about a human is not willing to take step to correct oneself after knowing the flaws or mistakes. The reasons? Fear or ignorance? Or both?

I used to ask why Dr Jekyll wants to be separate his evil side. I mean why cannot he just accept that a human comprises good and evil and correct himself from there. But I think now, I understand why Dr Jekyll chose to do that. Sometimes the truth that how far we can go with our bad thoughts or actions surprises us. It made us, dislike ourselves.

But I guess life is a long journey of life-discovery. The great thing with all the bad things you are facing is that it make you understand the others really well. It made you sympathize with them  and be in their shoes because you were once there. I learnt to understand most of the times, because I was there.

But after everything that I faced, and am still facing...I know that there is always hope. Hope is the only source where change can takes place.  If hope comes from faith in God, then God is the only source where change can takes place. 


Labels: journey, life, personal


Few more days.

POSTED ON: 23 December 2013 @ 2:20 PM | 0 comments

8 more days to the last day of 2013. Wow! Time really really really flies.

Looked around, many changes had took place. I have a work. I am officially a teacher. I am a graduate. I started to learn to be more responsible in my life. No more doing whatever I like just because I like it. *shouting ‘I AM A GROWN-UP*. Haha.  Finally, (like FINALLLYYY!!) I understand that every decision comes with its consequence. Some friends are in oversea, some friends are heading abroad, some friends are graduating, some friends are pursuing Master degree and some friends are still studying.

Looking back and reflecting the year of 2013, I think many and many ( like really MANNNNY) things had taken place. I had my last semester in university, quitted Jazz Band, prepared my heart to leave, reluctant to leave, went to Camp Cameron, went to be a teacher in an International School, pulled my hair because of students, had an awesome convocation with family and friends, went through a phase of adapting at home after three years, found a church to be called a home-church, went back to university as a graduate and many many many smiles, tears, memories and friendships in between.

I would regard this year as the BEST YEAR so far not because many things had took place but because I know I can never face all these seasons mentioned without my only and one understanding and faithful Dad. So many changes and yet I am still standing still, I am amazed how everything fall into place at the end of the day.

I guess I am really an adult at last. *pull my hair and shout NOOOOO*

P/S: As we prepare our heart for Christmas and New Year, lets us reflect our year with thankfulness and gratefulness that we are still alive and safe. May you walk into the new year with the mind that He will always hold your hand as you face a new year of adventures.  May you grow in Word and to grasp His unfailing love for you.

Merry Christmas and Blessed NEW YEAR 2014 (*eyes open wide..like I am going to be 24 already??! haha)



Labels: adventure, beautiful, blessed, happy, journey, life, newseason, newyear


Move. On.

POSTED ON: 17 December 2013 @ 11:32 PM | 0 comments

Was not reluctant to go this time. Maybe when it is time, it is time. I am glad I met up with people that I love. But was even happier to see how they moved on with their lives. Life is meant to move forward. We can always stop to take a pause, to reflect and to rest. But, never to choose to stuck at the same phase. You may lose so many opportunities to do so much more. 





Labels: beautiful, blessed, friendships, life, seeyouagain


Back.

POSTED ON: 05 November 2013 @ 9:32 PM | 0 comments

Guess where did I come back from???? I just came back from Universiti Malaya's Persaudaraan Kristian Varsiti camp! 

 I know it was really weird that I joined a camp not being a student there but I believe God works in very unique way.

 Clement asked, ' What makes you join our camp?'
I replied, ' I guess God has to pull me back to where I grow the most (university) to retell me that He is the author and perfecter of faith. That He will know how I feel and that I don't have to run away from Him. 

**(Not exactly the exact things I said to Clem, there are rephrasing)

It is good to take a break from all of the things that hinder me from getting to a greater height with God. Now I am refreshed, it is time to minister and serve in where I am now with all my heart to the Lord,

Because I am reminded...

1st Corinthians 15: 8
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Labels: camp, God, journey, life, refresh


Good teacher?

POSTED ON: 23 October 2013 @ 1:38 AM | 0 comments

In the midst of teaching, I received a statement behind my back that the works that I gave to my Year 6 wasn't good enough and it were not up to the standard. The person added, ' I do not understand why the school would want to hire someone as inexperienced as her.' 

Heartbroken and felt helpless inside of me.

I was wondering, ' Why did I choose a job with such a low pay and getting pushed?'.  Told myself, 'It is okay. I just gotta swallow this and be better teacher with this comment.'

However inside my hearts ; for many days, I asked 'Am I a good teacher?' , 'Am I up to being a teacher?' and 'Is that what everyone thinking?'. I am not someone who is able to withstand being pushed over. Many times, I wanted to confront the person and say  'Just tell me these in front of me so that I can improve. Because you are a teacher too. Teach me!'

A few days later, I asked another teacher. She is 70 plus years old and still teaching. I asked her ' How do you feel going into the school being inexperienced when you first started?'.  She told me, 

'I wasn't inexperienced. I was trained. But I was trained under a principal who did not like me. The principal said to me once, some teachers are born-teacher. Some are not. And YOU ARE NOT!'

Then she continued, 'Until now, I still remember what she said. But what she said makes me a better teacher. Because I work harder to prove that I am actually a good teacher.'

With teary eyes ; my heart was whispering, ' This gonna make me a better teacher too. It will not stop me from being a passionate good teacher.'

Proverbs 3:6 
In all your ways, SUBMIT to HIM and He will make your PATH STRAIGHT.



Labels: Father's love, life, school, teacher, thoughts


A Job!

POSTED ON: 30 August 2013 @ 11:00 PM | 0 comments

Found a job!! It is a teaching post! I am going to teach primary students. I am happy!! I know that I am going to get this job actually because I believe God will provide. 

 Nevertheless, I talked to my mother about the amount of money I have to give to her monthly. When she told me about the amount, I told her that I cannot give that much because I just couldn't. But I know that deep inside my heart, I put myself above my family. I know I was being selfish. 

 I was talking to an auntie in the church, she told me that I have to give my mother no matter what because we have to honour our parents. It strikes me how I always put myself first rather that God (as to not follow His ways by honouring parents)and also family. I also came across this picture in Facebook quoting, 'Sometimes you think your parents couldn't give you the things you want but no knowing they gave you everything they have.' 

 So many times, I really envy of others who can do whatever they want but never did I thought that my mother gave everything she can have in her life to give me a better life. All I do is compare and blame. I must have disappointed her with my selfish thinking and actions. But I am also grateful that I know this right now. 

 Even with the money that I am earning now, it can never be enough but I would love to use it to glorify God and exhibit God's love towards my family. If I cannot part with the money I am earning, I don't think I can be a good testimony to my family. As I was struggling with this too, a thought came to me when I was talking to my mother...'She is aged, she might go one day...the money you are earning.. give her WHILE YOU CAN.'

 I , myself experienced first-hand the pain and regret of losing the love one. I am not going to feel the same for the thing that I can do but not. And I am just going to really really really depend on God..on Him..for this season. Because He knows and understands. :')

1st John 3 :16-18 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children,let us not love with words or speech but with ACTIONS and in TRUTH.



Labels: family, God, home, learnt, lesson, life, melaka, quote


A reason.

POSTED ON: 16 June 2013 @ 5:53 PM | 1 comments

I think in life, when we cannot stand someone or we were irritated by someone...naturally our human mind will lashes out all the negative thoughts about the person. For example, 'Why couldn't he/she be more mature? Things are simple isn't it? ; 'Why does he/she has to be so mean to me?' ; 'What makes he/her hates me or treat me like this?' ; ' Why did I do to deserve such a treatment?'; 'Why he/she has to act out like that?' ...and the list goes on and on. 

It is true that it is harder to be a bigger person in this situation and it is easier to respond and lashes out anger to these people who really needs a spank on their face. But for there are so many reasons to not love/dislike/hate them, can we find at least a reason to LOVE them unconditionally? Just a reason will do...

'Just find a reason to love despite many reasons to not.'

I know it is really really really difficult to choose to see things from the other side but just because someone do not deserve to be loved but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be loved. Come to think of it, all of us do not deserve His Love. But that doesn't mean God don't want to love us. 

In this world of chaos, in the world of cold-hearted people, in this world where true love seem impossible to exist ; Hold on to the reason why you love which is because..... God loves everyone. Shift your perspective to another side where understanding and actions are needed to melt the heart of the people and point them to who and where True Love is . Might be hard along the way, but as long as God is smiling and delighted because you are loving His people..it is worth it. Well, at least you are sowing to please the Spirit and from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (in ref Gal 6:8)

God is love. Therefore love. Without distinction, without calculation, without procrastination, love.  (Henry Drummond)
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.  For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. (Psalm 37:8-9)

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:9-11)


Labels: friendship, God, journey, life, love, thought, Word of God


WIll you?

POSTED ON: 14 June 2013 @ 12:39 AM | 1 comments



My sister ranted at me and said that I have too much of high standards for the man that I am gonna be married and said to me that ' You are not gonna be married if you keep your standard that high!'. I am like, ' I dont think my standards are high,you see.'I just want a man who loves me as much as God loves me and spiritually higher so that he can lead me and to be mold. I don't mind what his look or what he wears, neither where he came from { although I go ga-ga over Ang Mo (Whites) } because what I really want is a man who loves God , who sees God in me, want the best for me and also would willing to die for me just like how Christ died for me. 

At the end of the day, beauty fades, health deteriorates, illness might strikes us..but would the man that marries you hold your old ageing hands ,be there for you and comfort you till the day you die or he dies?


Labels: God, life, random


Hands.

POSTED ON: 02 June 2013 @ 10:10 PM | 0 comments

I went to Prayer at P.E.N.H.O.P (Penang House of Prayer) last Friday. It had been one year since I went there. The last time I went was during my first year? Haha. I couldn't really remember.

We were worshiping God and was singing . Then I was looking at the palm of my hands. And maybe because of the light, my hands were clear and smooth. I am not saying that my hands are beautiful. It just that, that very pair hands are not that beautiful. It was dirty. It stole, touched, slapped , punch and it sinned. It went on to do the things I hated most about myself. 

But at the same time, I was just amazed that the very same hands, God wants to hold it. He wants to hold it and bring the person with that hands to greater height. At that time, I was thinking, 'God must have loved so much that He wants to hold these dirty hands. And perhaps when He was looking at it , He saw how dirty were those hands but willing to wipe the dirt away. He didn't cut the hands away but He wanted to clean it.' I am still imperfect to this days and I will continue to do things that maybe unpleasant to Him but I know my Father will not stop loving me because of these imperfections. And because of this Love, I will choose to do what is pleasing to Him, to do what is right for Him, to love who He loves and to forgive because He forgives. 

God cares about you and choose not to care how dirty your hands are because He loves you instead. His love and grace is so perfect that it overcome your imperfections.The question is, 'Are you willing to let the dirt on your palm of your hands to be cleaned by Him?'



Titus 3:3-7: For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Labels: beautiful, faithfulness, God, hope, life, love, prayer


Cheerios.

POSTED ON: 17 May 2013 @ 3:45 AM | 0 comments

This post is for this girl, PHANG CARMEN. Why? Because I always wanted to write about her. Yeah, and because today I was reflective about my university journey and this girl is a must-for-me to write because I really sayang her.

I remembered seeing her in NC. That time everyone said to me ,' You should know Carmen lah'. I am like ,' Who is this girl?. Last week as I was talking to her , she said that I am her one of good friends. I am like so honoured. This girl is President for our university CF. Why would she consider me as her good friend? HAHA.


Turned out, the feeling is mutual. Turned out, she is one of the best things that happened to me in university. I always that God placed her in my life to equip me with His love and His wisdom. This girl always look at things so differently that I can learn from her. This girl always so fired up for God. This girl always always lend her helping hands when I have no one to turn to. She always says to me , 'Fong Wan, you know you always come to me when you don't have enough money.' :') God knows what I need in life, it is not about money. It is about reassurance He will provide.

 Today I just want to tell her this:

 Dear Phang Carmen,

 I am really thankful for you. Yes, you! I know you might hear this many times, but I really think I sayang you. Thank you for everything you have done. Always so welcoming. Always so accepting. Like a family , I can rely when I have no one to turn to. I am really grateful for your presence in my life. Thank you for showing me Christ's love towards people. Thank you for living God's way. Thank you for just being there for me caring for me as I go somewhere. Thank you for teaching me lessons . Thank you for regarding me as your good friends. I may not be that good but in your eyes, you always see the best in me. So many things great things about you, but thank you so so much for choosing to LOVE me despite everything. :') WE will definitely cheer one another up to keep our eyes on Him and run the race with endurance, okay? Let finish the race and demonstrate of His love to family and the ones we care okay? Let's be friend forever until we go heaven okay? And we shall dance with joy with Him in His kingdom. :')
1st Year
First meet in National Conference (N.C)




2nd Year



3rd Year 







MUAHHHHHHHH!!!! *Love love love*

Labels: adventure, beautiful, blessed. graduation, faithfulness, friendship, God, journey, kawan sejati, life, love, person, university


My country, Malaysia.

POSTED ON: 22 April 2013 @ 8:42 PM | 0 comments


 Remembered it was in the PLAN 11 back in 2011 that I sang Malaysia anthem, Negaraku with full of love and dedication that declares Malaysia is my country and I love Malaysia for the first time.
Jesus loves Malaysia. My God loves Malaysia and its people. 

 And because of that, I will not sit still , being feared and not do anything. I will continue to march on with all I have to stand strong in Him and with Him for this upcoming election. If you ask me honestly 'Why change the government?'. It is not because they ruled too long but because I want OUR voices to be heard. It doesn't matter who rules the country but I want a government that listen to the cries of his people and to sit down with his people and take time to do what is BEST for his people. 

 It is not because of the race differences, not because of the religion differences, not because the historical background differences..it is because it falls to only one thing , we are all HUMAN and we deserve all the equal rights and privilege as human. 

The leaders that I hope and pray for is the leader that will think of his people, love his people and  would even sacrifice himself for his people despite whoever and which race because that is the leaders that will put his people first. 

 I remembered watching Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln biography movie), with his famous quote 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.'. He managed to lived this quote by breaking the chain of American African being the slaves. He even sacrifice his sleep to think of the way to use all he can to stop the Whites from using the Blacks as slaves. He stood for equal right even though he , himself is a white. Today, Barack Obama is the first American African President and yes , it came from a long way since 1861. But it is all worth it, isn't it? Because everyone deserve to be treated Human with the same rights, truth, love and attention and care.

 In this crucial time, let's us not sit at our comfort seat and watch these things that happens around and do nothing about it. Simple things such as pray unceasingly for our beloved nation, share the information that it is important is more than enough. Walk the talk! 

 Greater things are yet to come if all of us do our part as Malaysians. Don't look away. Change yourself too if you want the change in Malaysia. The future generation depends on you too. You too , can make a difference in this country starting today. 



' I don't stand at white's side. I don't stand at black's side. I stand at God's side.'  (Bob Marley)


'I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.'  (Abraham Lincoln)

'Be a good citizen. All governments are under God. Insofar as there is peace and order, it’s God’s order. So live responsibly as a citizen.' (Roman 13:1; Message Translation)



Labels: God, justice. election, life, love, Malaysia, nation, pray


Jesus Loves My Family Too! :)

POSTED ON: 13 April 2013 @ 11:57 PM | 0 comments

I love USM. In fact, this lovely place had become my comfort zone. But when it's time to leave, I pray that I will not let God down with everything He had taught me. When it's time to go back the home that I left for three years, I pray that I will manifest Him and His love to my beloved family, to declare to them through actions that it is God that had changed me. Hopefully, they will see Him in me. I will do anything for my family to know He is my Lord, my Saviour and He loves them too. :)
Micah 6:8 : He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? 

Labels: faith, family, God, happy, life, love, person


God-centered or Self-centered?

POSTED ON: 30 March 2013 @ 5:40 PM | 0 comments

''God-centered or Self-centered?''
A question to ponder upon. In life, I think humility could be one of the hardest lessons one could ever learned. To boast of yourself of the things you had done, or to boast of God's things for He had done it through you.
It is okay to be delighted or even proud of something you did because of the gifts God had given you. But it is not right to declare it publicly so that you gain attention from others , or to gain acknowledgement from others that you did it very well. I meant, what is the intention of your heart?


To find the delights from the acknowledgement from men, or to find the delights that God had used you as vessel, that you should give thanks to Him.


Sometimes in the midst of receiving compliments, it is good to check on yourself.  Let practice ' All glory goes to God', shall we? Let's practice that,Fong Wan!
Jeremiah 9: 23-23: This is what the LORD says ' Let not the wise boast of their wisdom, or the strong boast of strength, or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD , exercise kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,' declares the Lord.


Labels: faith, God, life, personal, random, thought


Happy Birthday , Ah Kuan!!

POSTED ON: 27 March 2013 @ 1:38 AM | 0 comments

I have a lot of brothers ( close guy friends ) throughout Form 6 till today, in university. But I have only ONE blood-tied brother . 

His name is Daryl Tham King Kuan!! 



And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AH KUAN!!


As cute as me , you see! HAHAHA

This brother of mine is younger than me two years old. But whenever he goes out with me, people will assumed that he is three years older than me due to his size and height. HAHAHA.

My brother cooks better that I do. And he loves to ask my sister and I to try on the food that he cooked. My brother is such a funny person that I cannot resist laughing at his weird lame jokes. (I think my whole family jokes) .

When we were young, we slapped one another's faces because our dad asked us as a form of punishment. And it was so funny that we ended up crying because we slapped each other too hard.

He is currently working in Brunei. He is kinda like the breadwinner of the family. It is because I am still pursuing my studies, my brother is working now. Sometimes , I felt like I owe him an apology for being the one that provides for my mom and family.


I was 19, and he was 17.


We were eating in Papa Pizza in 2010.


Sis, bro and I.  One year ago.



Chinese New Year 2013. This year!:)


Dear Ah Kuan,

This is for you to tell you how much I appreciate your presence in my life. A part of me is very very very thankful that you are my brother , that you are out there  working to support the family. I am also thankful that you had been so strong emotionally and always so thoughtful for you always think for family. You are more than what you think you are . I really hope that I can share your burdens soon . I also begin to appreciate you more now. I thank God for you in my life, that I may continue studying without any major struggles because you were there to solve the problems that I couldn't. Thank you, Ah Kuan. You maybe strong and big outside but I know you are a gentle soul inside. So whoever who bully you, please tell me! I wallop him/ her! HAHAHA. I just wanna tell you it's your birthday. Happy 21st birthday. Thank you for your presence this 21 years and I give u the things you want when I have my first salary okay? :) Take care brother! I miss you!!! And I will always always always there for you in the future. Like what mom used to teach us, ' Even if the whole world turn against your brother, you should not. You should love your brother instead.' 

Labels: beautiful, birthday, bless, brother, family, God, journey, life, love


Type of Friend

POSTED ON: 10 January 2013 @ 3:59 AM | 1 comments

In the middle of studying

 I thought to myself

 'What type of friend do you want to be?'

 I know 'this-and-that' happened,

 It is not that I wanna break our friendship,

 Even though I am at risk of it

 Risking away of our friendship

 But if this what a real friend should do

 I will do it.

 I am not judging

 I am not taking you away

 I am not jealous

 Simply, I just love u as a friend

 Let's hope

 One day when you look back 

 Through your life

 You will know that 

 It was simply out of LOVE that I am doing this

As I always do.




Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Labels: friendship, God, life, personal, thought, tough


Two Thousand Thirteen. *Yays*

POSTED ON: 04 January 2013 @ 4:09 AM | 0 comments

Heyyyyyyyyyy!!!! It's 2013 !! WOW. I am officially 23 22 and a month old. Haha.

TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN. I know it is all about resolutions. I thought of having list of this and that to do. It's good to have goals and dreams in life, you see. 

 I ask myself what I want in my life...

I have kinda..many things I want to accomplish..such as getting a driving and motorcycle licence as soon as possible in six months and helping my family's financial burdens, to shed some kilograms off ..bla bla bla..
...Then, I ask myself what I don't want to LET GO in my life...

Then...

 I realised it was God.

 ...Family and my dearest friends that I might not see them as often as I can in the period of six months.

I realised that as much as I have list of new accomplishments that I wanna achieve but...

 What really makes me happy and content inside and fill me as a person, to learn and to impact was God, family and friends.


Especially God.

 Because He is my source of my life.

I have found Life because of Him,

And couldn't live without Him. 

So, my resolution this year is only ONE.

  *tadaaaa*
Just ABIDE in Him, through bittersweet of life.

Then He will direct me with what to do..in my life, with the people I love and with the remaining time in USM. *smile*
'The lump of clay would NEVER grow into vase if it stayed in the clay out for thousands of years. But once PUT into the hands of a skillful potter, it grows rapidly under his fashioning into a vessel he can PROUD to claim as his HANDIWORK.

You see, the clay is not expected to do the potter's work but only to SUBMIT to his working. For a man's part in this great work is that he must continually SURRENDER himself and continually TRUST.'

2 Timothy 2:20-21: But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.

Have a great year peps!! And YEARSSS to come!! :))

Labels: faithfulness, God, happy, life, newyear, random


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Going Somewhere?

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Planned-out Plans!

POSTED ON: 04 April 2014 @ 11:30 AM | 0 comments

Been planning out life, but nothing goes according to what I planned. I guess I am frustrated and disappointed. Not once but a few. But but but, I learnt lessons through this season.

 1) I always want to be god of my life.
I love planning and want things my ways. Rather than just submitting it to God, I choose to plan my life and how I should live, forgetting this life is supposed to be a worship unto the Lord. Well, I am kinda like making my life a worship for myself. So much of self-fulfillment , isn't it? Totally forgotten, that I was already dead but made alive in Christ, supposingly my new life is a platform/tool/ agent/ ambassador ( u name it) of Christ.

 2. Don't always ask God for a YES as answer rather asking God for His will. 
One thing about the selfish me is that I always want God to answer my prayers. Like 'I wanna do this', 'Give me this', 'Grant me this' and 'Help me with this' rather than, 'O'Lord, answer my prayer according to Your will, that no matter answers You give, I will accept it knowing You are a sovereign God.' I also realised I always prepare myself for the good result but not the bad result. So I have learnt I need to always prepare for a NO answer knowing that my God is GOOD.

 3. My God really really really sees things in bigger picture. (like way bigger and awesomer) 
I see my future with my eyes and want it the way I think it is good. But I believe that God have better and way awesome plans for me if only I am willing to submit in His ways. Like seriously. I just have to trust that He is going to use me greatly, no matter how blurry is the road in front of me. I just gotta trust in my Dad. 'Give me life in Thy ways' ... I learned that in camp and I am so going to practice it. :)

 Last but not least, I was watching this movie 'The Tree of Life' and there was this quote in the movie which left quite an impact on me.

 The nuns taught us there are two ways through life … the way of Nature… and the way of Grace. You have to choose which one you'll follow. Grace doesn't try to please itself. Accepts being slighted, forgotten, disliked. Accepts insults and injuries. Nature only wants to please itself. Get others to please it too. Likes to lord it over them. To have its own way. It finds reasons to be unhappy... when all the world is shining around it... when love is smiling through all things.

(2 Corinthians 5 :14-15)  For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.


Labels: adventure, blessed, Jesus, journey, life, personal


When Life is Not the Way It Seems to Be.

POSTED ON: 26 January 2014 @ 3:30 PM | 0 comments

Because life is not the way I wanted,
Because I am lost,
Because I feel like a loser,
I went away.

I went away,
Finding my own strength,
Seeking my own directions,
Trusting in my own choices.

Trusting myself,
Trusting everything else,
Except the One who created me,
The One who loved and is still loving me.

The One who whispered,
'Come to me',
'Come, don't harden your heart.'
'Come to me, my precious.'

'Come!'
But, time and time again,
I trusted myself,
I went away,
Because life is not the way I wanted.


And I stopped. 		Because life is not the way I wanted,
Because I am lost,
Because I feel like a loser,
I come again.

I come again,
Finding Your strength,
Seeking Your will,
Trusting in You.

Trusting in You,
And not everything else,
Only You, the One who created me,
The One who loved and is still loving me.

The One who never stop loving,
Waiting, correcting
Molding, rebuking,
I am indeed Your precious.

Because I am Your Precious,
This time, 
Trusting in You,
I come again
Because I would never even found a LIFE without You.

And I come.



Labels: family, God, journey, life, personal, tough


Self-Discovery

POSTED ON: 07 January 2014 @ 12:46 AM | 0 comments

Coming back to this place, I've learnt even more about myself, family and really really about myself. I guess the most tragic thing about a human is not willing to take step to correct oneself after knowing the flaws or mistakes. The reasons? Fear or ignorance? Or both?

I used to ask why Dr Jekyll wants to be separate his evil side. I mean why cannot he just accept that a human comprises good and evil and correct himself from there. But I think now, I understand why Dr Jekyll chose to do that. Sometimes the truth that how far we can go with our bad thoughts or actions surprises us. It made us, dislike ourselves.

But I guess life is a long journey of life-discovery. The great thing with all the bad things you are facing is that it make you understand the others really well. It made you sympathize with them  and be in their shoes because you were once there. I learnt to understand most of the times, because I was there.

But after everything that I faced, and am still facing...I know that there is always hope. Hope is the only source where change can takes place.  If hope comes from faith in God, then God is the only source where change can takes place. 


Labels: journey, life, personal


Few more days.

POSTED ON: 23 December 2013 @ 2:20 PM | 0 comments

8 more days to the last day of 2013. Wow! Time really really really flies.

Looked around, many changes had took place. I have a work. I am officially a teacher. I am a graduate. I started to learn to be more responsible in my life. No more doing whatever I like just because I like it. *shouting ‘I AM A GROWN-UP*. Haha.  Finally, (like FINALLLYYY!!) I understand that every decision comes with its consequence. Some friends are in oversea, some friends are heading abroad, some friends are graduating, some friends are pursuing Master degree and some friends are still studying.

Looking back and reflecting the year of 2013, I think many and many ( like really MANNNNY) things had taken place. I had my last semester in university, quitted Jazz Band, prepared my heart to leave, reluctant to leave, went to Camp Cameron, went to be a teacher in an International School, pulled my hair because of students, had an awesome convocation with family and friends, went through a phase of adapting at home after three years, found a church to be called a home-church, went back to university as a graduate and many many many smiles, tears, memories and friendships in between.

I would regard this year as the BEST YEAR so far not because many things had took place but because I know I can never face all these seasons mentioned without my only and one understanding and faithful Dad. So many changes and yet I am still standing still, I am amazed how everything fall into place at the end of the day.

I guess I am really an adult at last. *pull my hair and shout NOOOOO*

P/S: As we prepare our heart for Christmas and New Year, lets us reflect our year with thankfulness and gratefulness that we are still alive and safe. May you walk into the new year with the mind that He will always hold your hand as you face a new year of adventures.  May you grow in Word and to grasp His unfailing love for you.

Merry Christmas and Blessed NEW YEAR 2014 (*eyes open wide..like I am going to be 24 already??! haha)



Labels: adventure, beautiful, blessed, happy, journey, life, newseason, newyear


Move. On.

POSTED ON: 17 December 2013 @ 11:32 PM | 0 comments

Was not reluctant to go this time. Maybe when it is time, it is time. I am glad I met up with people that I love. But was even happier to see how they moved on with their lives. Life is meant to move forward. We can always stop to take a pause, to reflect and to rest. But, never to choose to stuck at the same phase. You may lose so many opportunities to do so much more. 





Labels: beautiful, blessed, friendships, life, seeyouagain


Back.

POSTED ON: 05 November 2013 @ 9:32 PM | 0 comments

Guess where did I come back from???? I just came back from Universiti Malaya's Persaudaraan Kristian Varsiti camp! 

 I know it was really weird that I joined a camp not being a student there but I believe God works in very unique way.

 Clement asked, ' What makes you join our camp?'
I replied, ' I guess God has to pull me back to where I grow the most (university) to retell me that He is the author and perfecter of faith. That He will know how I feel and that I don't have to run away from Him. 

**(Not exactly the exact things I said to Clem, there are rephrasing)

It is good to take a break from all of the things that hinder me from getting to a greater height with God. Now I am refreshed, it is time to minister and serve in where I am now with all my heart to the Lord,

Because I am reminded...

1st Corinthians 15: 8
Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Labels: camp, God, journey, life, refresh


Good teacher?

POSTED ON: 23 October 2013 @ 1:38 AM | 0 comments

In the midst of teaching, I received a statement behind my back that the works that I gave to my Year 6 wasn't good enough and it were not up to the standard. The person added, ' I do not understand why the school would want to hire someone as inexperienced as her.' 

Heartbroken and felt helpless inside of me.

I was wondering, ' Why did I choose a job with such a low pay and getting pushed?'.  Told myself, 'It is okay. I just gotta swallow this and be better teacher with this comment.'

However inside my hearts ; for many days, I asked 'Am I a good teacher?' , 'Am I up to being a teacher?' and 'Is that what everyone thinking?'. I am not someone who is able to withstand being pushed over. Many times, I wanted to confront the person and say  'Just tell me these in front of me so that I can improve. Because you are a teacher too. Teach me!'

A few days later, I asked another teacher. She is 70 plus years old and still teaching. I asked her ' How do you feel going into the school being inexperienced when you first started?'.  She told me, 

'I wasn't inexperienced. I was trained. But I was trained under a principal who did not like me. The principal said to me once, some teachers are born-teacher. Some are not. And YOU ARE NOT!'

Then she continued, 'Until now, I still remember what she said. But what she said makes me a better teacher. Because I work harder to prove that I am actually a good teacher.'

With teary eyes ; my heart was whispering, ' This gonna make me a better teacher too. It will not stop me from being a passionate good teacher.'

Proverbs 3:6 
In all your ways, SUBMIT to HIM and He will make your PATH STRAIGHT.



Labels: Father's love, life, school, teacher, thoughts


A Job!

POSTED ON: 30 August 2013 @ 11:00 PM | 0 comments

Found a job!! It is a teaching post! I am going to teach primary students. I am happy!! I know that I am going to get this job actually because I believe God will provide. 

 Nevertheless, I talked to my mother about the amount of money I have to give to her monthly. When she told me about the amount, I told her that I cannot give that much because I just couldn't. But I know that deep inside my heart, I put myself above my family. I know I was being selfish. 

 I was talking to an auntie in the church, she told me that I have to give my mother no matter what because we have to honour our parents. It strikes me how I always put myself first rather that God (as to not follow His ways by honouring parents)and also family. I also came across this picture in Facebook quoting, 'Sometimes you think your parents couldn't give you the things you want but no knowing they gave you everything they have.' 

 So many times, I really envy of others who can do whatever they want but never did I thought that my mother gave everything she can have in her life to give me a better life. All I do is compare and blame. I must have disappointed her with my selfish thinking and actions. But I am also grateful that I know this right now. 

 Even with the money that I am earning now, it can never be enough but I would love to use it to glorify God and exhibit God's love towards my family. If I cannot part with the money I am earning, I don't think I can be a good testimony to my family. As I was struggling with this too, a thought came to me when I was talking to my mother...'She is aged, she might go one day...the money you are earning.. give her WHILE YOU CAN.'

 I , myself experienced first-hand the pain and regret of losing the love one. I am not going to feel the same for the thing that I can do but not. And I am just going to really really really depend on God..on Him..for this season. Because He knows and understands. :')

1st John 3 :16-18 This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children,let us not love with words or speech but with ACTIONS and in TRUTH.



Labels: family, God, home, learnt, lesson, life, melaka, quote


A reason.

POSTED ON: 16 June 2013 @ 5:53 PM | 1 comments

I think in life, when we cannot stand someone or we were irritated by someone...naturally our human mind will lashes out all the negative thoughts about the person. For example, 'Why couldn't he/she be more mature? Things are simple isn't it? ; 'Why does he/she has to be so mean to me?' ; 'What makes he/her hates me or treat me like this?' ; ' Why did I do to deserve such a treatment?'; 'Why he/she has to act out like that?' ...and the list goes on and on. 

It is true that it is harder to be a bigger person in this situation and it is easier to respond and lashes out anger to these people who really needs a spank on their face. But for there are so many reasons to not love/dislike/hate them, can we find at least a reason to LOVE them unconditionally? Just a reason will do...

'Just find a reason to love despite many reasons to not.'

I know it is really really really difficult to choose to see things from the other side but just because someone do not deserve to be loved but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be loved. Come to think of it, all of us do not deserve His Love. But that doesn't mean God don't want to love us. 

In this world of chaos, in the world of cold-hearted people, in this world where true love seem impossible to exist ; Hold on to the reason why you love which is because..... God loves everyone. Shift your perspective to another side where understanding and actions are needed to melt the heart of the people and point them to who and where True Love is . Might be hard along the way, but as long as God is smiling and delighted because you are loving His people..it is worth it. Well, at least you are sowing to please the Spirit and from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (in ref Gal 6:8)

God is love. Therefore love. Without distinction, without calculation, without procrastination, love.  (Henry Drummond)
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil.  For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land. (Psalm 37:8-9)

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:9-11)


Labels: friendship, God, journey, life, love, thought, Word of God


WIll you?

POSTED ON: 14 June 2013 @ 12:39 AM | 1 comments



My sister ranted at me and said that I have too much of high standards for the man that I am gonna be married and said to me that ' You are not gonna be married if you keep your standard that high!'. I am like, ' I dont think my standards are high,you see.'I just want a man who loves me as much as God loves me and spiritually higher so that he can lead me and to be mold. I don't mind what his look or what he wears, neither where he came from { although I go ga-ga over Ang Mo (Whites) } because what I really want is a man who loves God , who sees God in me, want the best for me and also would willing to die for me just like how Christ died for me. 

At the end of the day, beauty fades, health deteriorates, illness might strikes us..but would the man that marries you hold your old ageing hands ,be there for you and comfort you till the day you die or he dies?


Labels: God, life, random


Hands.

POSTED ON: 02 June 2013 @ 10:10 PM | 0 comments

I went to Prayer at P.E.N.H.O.P (Penang House of Prayer) last Friday. It had been one year since I went there. The last time I went was during my first year? Haha. I couldn't really remember.

We were worshiping God and was singing . Then I was looking at the palm of my hands. And maybe because of the light, my hands were clear and smooth. I am not saying that my hands are beautiful. It just that, that very pair hands are not that beautiful. It was dirty. It stole, touched, slapped , punch and it sinned. It went on to do the things I hated most about myself. 

But at the same time, I was just amazed that the very same hands, God wants to hold it. He wants to hold it and bring the person with that hands to greater height. At that time, I was thinking, 'God must have loved so much that He wants to hold these dirty hands. And perhaps when He was looking at it , He saw how dirty were those hands but willing to wipe the dirt away. He didn't cut the hands away but He wanted to clean it.' I am still imperfect to this days and I will continue to do things that maybe unpleasant to Him but I know my Father will not stop loving me because of these imperfections. And because of this Love, I will choose to do what is pleasing to Him, to do what is right for Him, to love who He loves and to forgive because He forgives. 

God cares about you and choose not to care how dirty your hands are because He loves you instead. His love and grace is so perfect that it overcome your imperfections.The question is, 'Are you willing to let the dirt on your palm of your hands to be cleaned by Him?'



Titus 3:3-7: For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.

Labels: beautiful, faithfulness, God, hope, life, love, prayer


Cheerios.

POSTED ON: 17 May 2013 @ 3:45 AM | 0 comments

This post is for this girl, PHANG CARMEN. Why? Because I always wanted to write about her. Yeah, and because today I was reflective about my university journey and this girl is a must-for-me to write because I really sayang her.

I remembered seeing her in NC. That time everyone said to me ,' You should know Carmen lah'. I am like ,' Who is this girl?. Last week as I was talking to her , she said that I am her one of good friends. I am like so honoured. This girl is President for our university CF. Why would she consider me as her good friend? HAHA.


Turned out, the feeling is mutual. Turned out, she is one of the best things that happened to me in university. I always that God placed her in my life to equip me with His love and His wisdom. This girl always look at things so differently that I can learn from her. This girl always so fired up for God. This girl always always lend her helping hands when I have no one to turn to. She always says to me , 'Fong Wan, you know you always come to me when you don't have enough money.' :') God knows what I need in life, it is not about money. It is about reassurance He will provide.

 Today I just want to tell her this:

 Dear Phang Carmen,

 I am really thankful for you. Yes, you! I know you might hear this many times, but I really think I sayang you. Thank you for everything you have done. Always so welcoming. Always so accepting. Like a family , I can rely when I have no one to turn to. I am really grateful for your presence in my life. Thank you for showing me Christ's love towards people. Thank you for living God's way. Thank you for just being there for me caring for me as I go somewhere. Thank you for teaching me lessons . Thank you for regarding me as your good friends. I may not be that good but in your eyes, you always see the best in me. So many things great things about you, but thank you so so much for choosing to LOVE me despite everything. :') WE will definitely cheer one another up to keep our eyes on Him and run the race with endurance, okay? Let finish the race and demonstrate of His love to family and the ones we care okay? Let's be friend forever until we go heaven okay? And we shall dance with joy with Him in His kingdom. :')
1st Year
First meet in National Conference (N.C)




2nd Year



3rd Year 







MUAHHHHHHHH!!!! *Love love love*

Labels: adventure, beautiful, blessed. graduation, faithfulness, friendship, God, journey, kawan sejati, life, love, person, university


My country, Malaysia.

POSTED ON: 22 April 2013 @ 8:42 PM | 0 comments


 Remembered it was in the PLAN 11 back in 2011 that I sang Malaysia anthem, Negaraku with full of love and dedication that declares Malaysia is my country and I love Malaysia for the first time.
Jesus loves Malaysia. My God loves Malaysia and its people. 

 And because of that, I will not sit still , being feared and not do anything. I will continue to march on with all I have to stand strong in Him and with Him for this upcoming election. If you ask me honestly 'Why change the government?'. It is not because they ruled too long but because I want OUR voices to be heard. It doesn't matter who rules the country but I want a government that listen to the cries of his people and to sit down with his people and take time to do what is BEST for his people. 

 It is not because of the race differences, not because of the religion differences, not because the historical background differences..it is because it falls to only one thing , we are all HUMAN and we deserve all the equal rights and privilege as human. 

The leaders that I hope and pray for is the leader that will think of his people, love his people and  would even sacrifice himself for his people despite whoever and which race because that is the leaders that will put his people first. 

 I remembered watching Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln biography movie), with his famous quote 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.'. He managed to lived this quote by breaking the chain of American African being the slaves. He even sacrifice his sleep to think of the way to use all he can to stop the Whites from using the Blacks as slaves. He stood for equal right even though he , himself is a white. Today, Barack Obama is the first American African President and yes , it came from a long way since 1861. But it is all worth it, isn't it? Because everyone deserve to be treated Human with the same rights, truth, love and attention and care.

 In this crucial time, let's us not sit at our comfort seat and watch these things that happens around and do nothing about it. Simple things such as pray unceasingly for our beloved nation, share the information that it is important is more than enough. Walk the talk! 

 Greater things are yet to come if all of us do our part as Malaysians. Don't look away. Change yourself too if you want the change in Malaysia. The future generation depends on you too. You too , can make a difference in this country starting today. 



' I don't stand at white's side. I don't stand at black's side. I stand at God's side.'  (Bob Marley)


'I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live by the light that I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, and stand with him while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.'  (Abraham Lincoln)

'Be a good citizen. All governments are under God. Insofar as there is peace and order, it’s God’s order. So live responsibly as a citizen.' (Roman 13:1; Message Translation)



Labels: God, justice. election, life, love, Malaysia, nation, pray


Jesus Loves My Family Too! :)

POSTED ON: 13 April 2013 @ 11:57 PM | 0 comments

I love USM. In fact, this lovely place had become my comfort zone. But when it's time to leave, I pray that I will not let God down with everything He had taught me. When it's time to go back the home that I left for three years, I pray that I will manifest Him and His love to my beloved family, to declare to them through actions that it is God that had changed me. Hopefully, they will see Him in me. I will do anything for my family to know He is my Lord, my Saviour and He loves them too. :)
Micah 6:8 : He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God? 

Labels: faith, family, God, happy, life, love, person


God-centered or Self-centered?

POSTED ON: 30 March 2013 @ 5:40 PM | 0 comments

''God-centered or Self-centered?''
A question to ponder upon. In life, I think humility could be one of the hardest lessons one could ever learned. To boast of yourself of the things you had done, or to boast of God's things for He had done it through you.
It is okay to be delighted or even proud of something you did because of the gifts God had given you. But it is not right to declare it publicly so that you gain attention from others , or to gain acknowledgement from others that you did it very well. I meant, what is the intention of your heart?


To find the delights from the acknowledgement from men, or to find the delights that God had used you as vessel, that you should give thanks to Him.


Sometimes in the midst of receiving compliments, it is good to check on yourself.  Let practice ' All glory goes to God', shall we? Let's practice that,Fong Wan!
Jeremiah 9: 23-23: This is what the LORD says ' Let not the wise boast of their wisdom, or the strong boast of strength, or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD , exercise kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,' declares the Lord.


Labels: faith, God, life, personal, random, thought


Happy Birthday , Ah Kuan!!

POSTED ON: 27 March 2013 @ 1:38 AM | 0 comments

I have a lot of brothers ( close guy friends ) throughout Form 6 till today, in university. But I have only ONE blood-tied brother . 

His name is Daryl Tham King Kuan!! 



And HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AH KUAN!!


As cute as me , you see! HAHAHA

This brother of mine is younger than me two years old. But whenever he goes out with me, people will assumed that he is three years older than me due to his size and height. HAHAHA.

My brother cooks better that I do. And he loves to ask my sister and I to try on the food that he cooked. My brother is such a funny person that I cannot resist laughing at his weird lame jokes. (I think my whole family jokes) .

When we were young, we slapped one another's faces because our dad asked us as a form of punishment. And it was so funny that we ended up crying because we slapped each other too hard.

He is currently working in Brunei. He is kinda like the breadwinner of the family. It is because I am still pursuing my studies, my brother is working now. Sometimes , I felt like I owe him an apology for being the one that provides for my mom and family.


I was 19, and he was 17.


We were eating in Papa Pizza in 2010.


Sis, bro and I.  One year ago.



Chinese New Year 2013. This year!:)


Dear Ah Kuan,

This is for you to tell you how much I appreciate your presence in my life. A part of me is very very very thankful that you are my brother , that you are out there  working to support the family. I am also thankful that you had been so strong emotionally and always so thoughtful for you always think for family. You are more than what you think you are . I really hope that I can share your burdens soon . I also begin to appreciate you more now. I thank God for you in my life, that I may continue studying without any major struggles because you were there to solve the problems that I couldn't. Thank you, Ah Kuan. You maybe strong and big outside but I know you are a gentle soul inside. So whoever who bully you, please tell me! I wallop him/ her! HAHAHA. I just wanna tell you it's your birthday. Happy 21st birthday. Thank you for your presence this 21 years and I give u the things you want when I have my first salary okay? :) Take care brother! I miss you!!! And I will always always always there for you in the future. Like what mom used to teach us, ' Even if the whole world turn against your brother, you should not. You should love your brother instead.' 

Labels: beautiful, birthday, bless, brother, family, God, journey, life, love


Type of Friend

POSTED ON: 10 January 2013 @ 3:59 AM | 1 comments

In the middle of studying

 I thought to myself

 'What type of friend do you want to be?'

 I know 'this-and-that' happened,

 It is not that I wanna break our friendship,

 Even though I am at risk of it

 Risking away of our friendship

 But if this what a real friend should do

 I will do it.

 I am not judging

 I am not taking you away

 I am not jealous

 Simply, I just love u as a friend

 Let's hope

 One day when you look back 

 Through your life

 You will know that 

 It was simply out of LOVE that I am doing this

As I always do.




Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Labels: friendship, God, life, personal, thought, tough


Two Thousand Thirteen. *Yays*

POSTED ON: 04 January 2013 @ 4:09 AM | 0 comments

Heyyyyyyyyyy!!!! It's 2013 !! WOW. I am officially 23 22 and a month old. Haha.

TWO THOUSAND THIRTEEN. I know it is all about resolutions. I thought of having list of this and that to do. It's good to have goals and dreams in life, you see. 

 I ask myself what I want in my life...

I have kinda..many things I want to accomplish..such as getting a driving and motorcycle licence as soon as possible in six months and helping my family's financial burdens, to shed some kilograms off ..bla bla bla..
...Then, I ask myself what I don't want to LET GO in my life...

Then...

 I realised it was God.

 ...Family and my dearest friends that I might not see them as often as I can in the period of six months.

I realised that as much as I have list of new accomplishments that I wanna achieve but...

 What really makes me happy and content inside and fill me as a person, to learn and to impact was God, family and friends.


Especially God.

 Because He is my source of my life.

I have found Life because of Him,

And couldn't live without Him. 

So, my resolution this year is only ONE.

  *tadaaaa*
Just ABIDE in Him, through bittersweet of life.

Then He will direct me with what to do..in my life, with the people I love and with the remaining time in USM. *smile*
'The lump of clay would NEVER grow into vase if it stayed in the clay out for thousands of years. But once PUT into the hands of a skillful potter, it grows rapidly under his fashioning into a vessel he can PROUD to claim as his HANDIWORK.

You see, the clay is not expected to do the potter's work but only to SUBMIT to his working. For a man's part in this great work is that he must continually SURRENDER himself and continually TRUST.'

2 Timothy 2:20-21: But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.

Have a great year peps!! And YEARSSS to come!! :))

Labels: faithfulness, God, happy, life, newyear, random


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